2011 is just about over and what
a year it has been! On my end, it has been an exciting year for the books
although as usual, we all come to this closing with some regret. Hearing the
word “regrets” always brings me back to one of the wiser people who have
influenced me: my Grandad (or grandfather Bickford). When he was forced to
spend years restricted to the Rideaucrest Nursing Home due to a series of debilitating
strokes - one of the tougher moments in my life – in a brief moment of lucidity
he asked me: “Will, are you happy with your life? Enjoy it and make sure you
can’t look back with regret, because you can’t change the past.” These few
sentences are dear to my heart and ever since helped me through hard times. From
the time he imparted his wisdom onto me, it has been much easier to decide meaningful
New Year’s resolutions and keep them as goals I will accomplish.
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| The Bickfords in 2011 |
As some of you knew beforehand
and others have learned through reading this blog, no matter where the Fab 4
(David, Madeleine, Brian and I) have been, we were always traditional and
united when it came to our holidays. Christmas and New Years were times we
invested in our relationships (parents, siblings, and now, it has been updated
to husband-wife for the Bickford boys) which are the most important pillars of
life. You can accomplish a lot with proper support in your home life. The
third-culture or transculture experience helped to build a very close network.
We created our own microculture yet we are also able to adapt to other cultures
easily, exercising the outmost sensitivity. When Brian and I were kids or
teenagers, we were always there to dress our Christmas tree, “help” Maman bake
festive cookies and watch as Dad carved our trademark turkeys surrounded by
stuffing, cranberries, baked potatoes, carrots, peas. After the Christmas meal,
we all retired to a well-deserved siesta and thematic movies such as A
Christmas Story or National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. Even times where I
have not been able to be with my parents or my brother (and now my sister,
Melissa, better known as his wife and my favourite little princess, Emma) I
have proudly continued with the traditions. My sweet wife Ana has taken to some
of these rituals as her own and we have added her cultural spices to the
traditional blend, hoping to build new traditions to pass on to future
generations of Colombo-Canadians. Sometimes it is not easy to find all the
ingredients in some countries where I have been, but when you apply yourself
and have some creativity, everything is possible.
Among our special life-long traditions
- something I think is worth passing on to people open to adopting new customs -
are the stocking stuffers. We tend to go shopping for discounted items or cheap
gifts before the special day, which we know will make the person laugh (a
complete season 1 of Mr T’s reality show, a chocolate poo-pooing reindeer,
doggy bags, a caroling Scooby Doo) or little knick-knacks that the receiver
loves (chocolates, candy canes, cookies). These small yet thoughtful gifts
always play a key role in setting a festive mood and showing that you do not
need to break the bank to make others happy. After all, there is that important
saying, “It is the thought that counts.” The most important gift for me this season
is to be with those who I hold dearest to my heart. It’s enough of a present.
If I cannot physically be with them, I am just happy they are enjoying their
time wherever they are and making the most of the season. As priorities take on
new faces, it is often hard to have everyone close by, especially with the
tough winters we have in Canada causing major setbacks in air, road and rail
traffic. In Ontario, we were clever enough to build a long stretch of highway
along the Montreal-Kingston-Toronto-Niagara corridor, infamous for lake effect
white outs and drifting snow. I cannot recall a smooth drive on that highway
due to holiday blizzards. The locals call this miracle of modern engineering
the 401, which I have had the pleasure of mentioning over a few entries. It is
an icon of Ontario, yours to discover if the weather permits.
Christmas has never been a time
in our family for putting a price tag on gifts and thinking: “Well Jack gave me
something worth $20 so I will give him something equal in value.” While in Latin America, we generally used to
give gifts, food or anything within our means as a special thank you to the
people who made our lives that much easier. In some of those countries, they
talk about El Nino Dios (in Ricky Bobby’s Talladega Nights grace, “Baby Jesus”)
showing up on December 25th, which is actually an accurate depiction
of the holiday. Jolly Saint Nick is an international celebrity representing the
commercialization of Christmas, but the actual embodiment of his persona serves
as a positive message: “the season of giving.” He gives selflessly. Great
example to follow! There are those material gifts we exchange with others, but in
fact, the best gift we can give to the world is kindness and caring without
expecting anything in return. It is a time to consider all the wonderful things
that bless our lives but we should always think of what little thing I could give
next year in order to make a world a better place. Instead of rushing
everywhere and driving a high-octane adrenaline-based body from one place to the
next, we should budget our time and run our errands with a smile. Ever noticed
when you speak on the phone with a smile versus a frown, even your voice seems
happier? Who doesn’t like happy people? Holding the door for someone you know
is coming behind you, (with a smile) and even if they do not say thank you,
just tell them “you’re welcome”, and maybe you can convert some people back to a
sense of community. We need others to survive, (no man – or woman for that
matter - is an island) so let’s all be a little less transactional with each
other.
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| Ana and I in Mont Tremblant, Québec |
As opposed to many of the
conspiracy theorists (I am sure you have all heard the famous “The Mayans
warned us”), 2012 will give us another 12 months to work towards our goals and
hopefully reach for the stars with our dreams. If not, there is always 2013,
but we have to make the most of time. It is also a chance to think of the
greater good, our families, our neighbours, our communities and our planet.
Canadians had generally been recognized for their sense of community
involvement and being a good neighbour, something I think we can all benefit
from. You used to be able to drop a wallet full of money on the street and
someone would bring it to your attention, allowing you to recover it.
Otherwise, if no one was around, you could double back the next day and you
could still find it on the street where you had dropped it, untouched. Not even
a dollar gone. This can be achieved through pride in your community, a sense of
civic duty, respecting your fellow people as brothers and sisters and being
ready to help others not only by thought or prayer. Anyway, I will be back to
blogging January 15th, 2012, and hope you all have a safe break and
tune-in for a whole new year of stories. I hope to find some time next year to
write a novel or even a third-culture book of some kind as it has always been a
dream of mine, and continue spreading some positive ingredients we can all use.
New Year, new goals.
Merry Christmas and Happy New
Year to all!
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